When your teen or child seems angry: 7 to look for and 7 to do.

7. January, 2015

Dr John Mayer


When your teen or child seems Angry

7 things to look for and 7 things to do

Dr. John E. Mayer



1-  look for a cause of the anger. Did an event, a trauma, a conflict with peers, a change in the family cause your child to be angry.

2-  Did a specific cause make your child angry or is this a long standing part of their personality?

3-  Could something physical they are experiencing be a cause? Pain? Illness?

4-  For teens-could their anger be a result of some growth changes? Hormonal changes? Have an exam from your pediatrician.

5-  Does everyone see/experience the anger in your child? Friends? School? Relatives? Coaches? Etc?

6-  Have there been any life changes in their life in the last few years, months? Death in family? Economic conditions in family? Losses?

7-  Be honest-is anger modeled in the home? Is a parent or family member angry?


More troubled teens and children’s anger is long term and not tied to a specific event. It is displayed throughout their life, not just at home. Further, physical pain and hormonal/growth changes in your child should always be considered as a possible cause.


 1-  Observe your teen/child in other settings to see if their anger is present then.

2-  Provide outlets for your child/teens emotions. Clubs, hobbies, sports, arts, etc.

3-  Structure their behavior-give consequences for displaying aggressive behaviors or inappropriate behaviors.

4-  Model happiness, love, affection, caring, empathy, kindness and positivity in your home.

5-  Don’t fight fire with fire. Getting angry with an angry child just builds a bonfire.

6-  Don’t panic—use all these techniques to get to the root of the problem(s).

7-  Get help. Get an assessment from a professional that is an expert with this age group and with anger issues. Even if it is a one time evaluation session.


For an in-depth look at angry/violent teens read An Anger at Birth by J.E. Mayer. More at: www.jemayerbooks.com and www.DrJohnMayer.com

Back to Homepage


No comments yet.

Be first to leave your comment!





Add your comment


go back to the top