When your teen or child seems Angry
7 things to look for and 7 things to do
Dr. John E. Mayer
1- look for a cause of the anger. Did an event, a trauma, a conflict with peers, a change in the family cause your child to be angry.
2- Did a specific cause make your child angry or is this a long standing part of their personality?
3- Could something physical they are experiencing be a cause? Pain? Illness?
4- For teens-could their anger be a result of some growth changes? Hormonal changes? Have an exam from your pediatrician.
5- Does everyone see/experience the anger in your child? Friends? School? Relatives? Coaches? Etc?
6- Have there been any life changes in their life in the last few years, months? Death in family? Economic conditions in family? Losses?
7- Be honest-is anger modeled in the home? Is a parent or family member angry?
More troubled teens and children’s anger is long term and not tied to a specific event. It is displayed throughout their life, not just at home. Further, physical pain and hormonal/growth changes in your child should always be considered as a possible cause.
1- Observe your teen/child in other settings to see if their anger is present then.
2- Provide outlets for your child/teens emotions. Clubs, hobbies, sports, arts, etc.
3- Structure their behavior-give consequences for displaying aggressive behaviors or inappropriate behaviors.
4- Model happiness, love, affection, caring, empathy, kindness and positivity in your home.
5- Don’t fight fire with fire. Getting angry with an angry child just builds a bonfire.
6- Don’t panic—use all these techniques to get to the root of the problem(s).
7- Get help. Get an assessment from a professional that is an expert with this age group and with anger issues. Even if it is a one time evaluation session.